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“A good exercise for the heart is to bend down and help another up.”
-Anonymous
Are you happy yet?
What makes you happy? How happy are you? Despite all of the things we have at our disposal these days, too many of us feel that happiness remains just out of our reach. I have found in my psychotherapy practice that many people describe themselves as ‘not happy’. They may have experienced some incident in their early years which has caused low self-esteem or simply feel disappointed that their life is full but not satisfying.
There has been a lot of research about the science of happiness over the past several years. There are books out there that can help you define happiness, how to measure it, and how to increase it. What makes a person happy? There is no one answer. For each one of us, the answer will vary depending on the day, time and place. We may think that a favorite treat will make us happy (or at least less unhappy) such as Godiva dark chocolate or a new pair of shoes. While the specific item may put a smile on our lips at the moment, that does not equal ‘happiness’.
Dr. Martin Seligman, a noted psychologist, has spent many years conducting research on happiness. His results indicate that happiness is an important component in our lives, especially with regard to our general health and possibly our lifespan. As you may expect, negative emotions like anger and hostility produce high levels of stress-related chemicals which are hard on our bodies. Feelings of happiness produce the opposite which is very good for us. His research shows us that we can build more happiness into our lives. However, it is not about simply getting more of what we think we want that makes a difference.
Comparisons were made between performing a kind act for someone else and doing something considered ‘fun’, such as playing golf, taking a bubble bath, or reading a book. Results showed that the ‘afterglow’ of a pleasurable activity paled in comparison to the good feelings associated with performing an act of kindness, such as taking someone a surprise meal or paying the toll for the car behind you. This positive effect was also increased when the acts were spontaneous. Also, one surprise result was that more money or more possessions did not add to one’s perception of happiness; the materialism factor reduced levels of happiness.
So, the best way to increase your own feeling of happiness is to do something to help someone else. Random acts of kindness can be big or small, and don’t have to take much time or money. The best part is, you get two (smiles) for the price of one.
As we have seen in recent years, there is a growing trend of tweeting and/or posting explicit pictures on the internet. I really wonder what these people are thinking. When did it become acceptable and appropriate to display onesself to the world? Now, before you call me a prude, I just want to say that this behavior is causing a variety of problems and I don’t see an upside.
Whether you are a public figure, celebrity, or politician, what in your position requires such pictures? I know that it happens in all circles but what is the point? I see two major issues going on here:
1) people who feel the need to do whatever to get attention from others;
2) people who have some problems with how they handle their sexuality.
I have been quite surprised and embarrassed for what some people put out there to advertise a business or even just on Facebook. We see in the news daily how these types of pictures are usually just the tip of the iceberg which lead to relationship problems. It is clear that
many people are just not thinking about the possible consequences of this behavior. What is your opinion? What is your first impression on these pictures?
During my commute this week, I noticed a new sign at a local church. The message was simple but really made me stop and think. “Get Rich Quick – Count Your Blessings!” For most of us, we rush through our days trying to complete our to-do lists, consumed with what we need or don’t have. This mindset is highlighted by our national obsession with celebrity lifestyles and reality shows. We are constantly reminded of what we don’t have in our lives.
It’s really too bad that envy is such a common feeling. Who says that I have to set my holiday table like the Kardashians? We assume that our lives are not as good, glamorous or happy as someone else. We shortchange what we do have by thinking this way.
I have been guilty of this too; it’s like a dis-ease is spreading – what we have is just not good enough and that means that WE are not good enough. Instead, lets’s focus on the positive. I have been trying to keep a list of things I notice everyday that bless my life. Sure, once I wrote that I was still breathing (had a bad cold), but I have been able to identify many more blessings that touch me day by day.
So, if you are feeling like the glass is half-empty rather than half-full, look more closely at what’s already in the glass. You may find that the glass is actually overflowing.
Well, this past Saturday my training group started up again. The summer/fall session for Marathoners In Training started bright and early. I was so ready because the winter was so bad (icy) that I decided against doing a spring half-marathon. I am looking forward to doing the Columbus Marathon this October for the second time. My only goal is to improve my time and that shouldn’t betoo hard since I came in dead last two years ago (back spasm, long story).
I love training with this group because even though I am slow, I feel comfortable with the program. There is a ton of support, great coaching, and informative sessions from experts. What makes it even more fun is that my dear hubby joined last year and did not grumble when I woke him up at 6am on Saturday (he is so not a morning exercise person). There was no rain despite the clouds but I was just so happy to be outside that I did 4.5 miles instead of the 4 planned. Yes, I’m one who barely tolerates the treadmill but appreciates it during the winter. So, if you happen to be out taking a stroll on the Olentangy Trail, you may be surprised to see how many crazy folks get up early to meet the sunrise in running shoes.
Good afternoon! I hope that everyone had a chance to enjoy the lovely snow over the weekend. I missed my long run outside and avoided the treadmill. Did a FIRM dvd instead even though I did need miles. Anyway, Mother Nature has her own plan for the weather and I have to make adjustments. Speaking of adjustments, how flexible are you when plans go awry?
It is easy to pout, tantrum and settle into a blue funk (yes, I’ve done these things too…) but it really doesn’t get anything done. After so many opportunities to try a new approach, I have finally learned that it is much more beneficial to have a Plan B (and C and D). This time of year always presents challenges for my training for a spring race so I start a few weeks earlier so I have the space to ‘make up’ days for long runs, which I prefer to do outside.
The key is keeping in mind that I love how I feel after working out so I don’t like to miss. I have a library of dvds to use when kept indoors. Breaking a good sweat seems to relax me and boosts my self-esteem. That is reason enough for me keep at it despite the weather. What do you like to do, indoors or out? I wish you much fun in whatever activity you enjoy.
